Category: Singles Spit Swap
Hi there, I’m a hard-working professional who has his own place, own money, a great personality and a lot of spare time. I’m looking for that special somebody to share my life with, so read on and get in touch if you like what you read.
Over the course of our first few dates I will pull out all the stops and make sure that the focus is on you. I’ll be prompt, polite and courteous, we’ll go to the finest restaurants, the most beautiful parks and I’ll totally respect your personal space and sexual independence. I’ll listen intently while you talk, offer support and advice when needed, but mainly, just listen.
If I decide I don’t like you, I wont have the decency to tell you that we wont date anymore, I’ll just stop calling. And you wont be able to call me, as the number I’ll have given you will be my ‘player’ number (which is a Pay-As-You-Go that I’ll promptly change).
If I think you might be the one (or at least worth a jump), I’ll wait patiently (maximum of six dates) until you let me know that you’re ready for sex - I mean ready to make love. When we do, my touch will be exquisite, my selflessness will be unsurpassed and your pleasure will be paramount. In short, I wont rest until I know you’re satisfied.
As time goes on and when I start to get bored, I will become socially, sexually and personally lazy. The dates will become less frequent, and when we do go out it’ll usually be to somewhere I can use my vouchers. The farting (which I’ve held in for months, by the way) will overwhelm you more than my declining hygiene standards. Money and time which I previously lavished you with will become more and more scarce, although I wont object to you spending yours on me. Friends who I temporarily blew out to be with you will once again become important in my life and although your friends will tell you otherwise, you’ll decide to stick with me because “well he’s a great guy really, you just don’t know him like I do”.
So, do I sound like your kind of man? If so, get in touch via my mailbox at match.com
Wow dusty, you've not progressed at all from your days at college? I thought you'd at least have made your pitch a little bit better than this by now. lol
Lmao, Dusty. Very amusing.
Lol I thought I was going to read yet another one of those single adverts but no, I read this one; Lol too good to be true? yeppers! :) hahaha
MMM. Sexy. Will you marry me?
Dusty, I thought I loved you, and now I know for sure. LOL
Becky and Scott, you two seem to think in remarkably similar ways. Scary.
Hey! I'm a guy, but I'll pretend that I'm a girl for our first few dates so that I can get some fine wining and dining. And of course, during this period, I'll put on women's perfume and talk high pitched and everything. And when you think that it's time to hit the sack, I'll pretend that I'm on my period and delay hitting the sack just so that I can get some more dinner out of you. If I sound like a guy, I mean a girl, that you've been waiting for, don't hesitate to write to me.
Ha! You think being on is gonna stop me? Unless you've had your mouth stitcihed up, you're still mine!
How'm I sounding now, Becky?! Oh it's good to be back ...
guys guys guys, you don't get it; He! is! Mine! mine mine mine! Lol Lol! :)
Mmmmm, you could make a girl forget she is married.
lol to the last poster.
lol! dusty your post has totally brightened up a dull hard day
Lol, what a sence of humor!